V-Day Gift Giving Guide

The Quad Inc is proud to present FF Weekly's 2nd Annual V-day Gift Giving Guide! We all know that V-day is a terrible holiday made up to empower women with the right to nag us and to waste our money on expensive gifts. That being the case, we can use this opportunity to make a mockery of the holiday by giving a gift that is so awesomely terrible that it will deter the women from ever mentioning valentine's day again! Please select one of the following gift to give to your significant other, if you do not have a significant other, then you are a pathetic, lonely, asshole. And no Wofly, banging your cousin does not count!

#5. Sweet Heart Electronic Vibrator

Nothing quite embodies the spirit of love and romance like an awkward crotch bulge. And if your girlfriend doesn't have one already, then this product is here to help.

This device comes with two magnetic pieces, so you clamp one inside the panties, one outside, and viola! Now your girl can't actually put her legs together any more and everyone she encounters will have to force their gaze away from the terrifying, buzzing cameltoe she's now sporting.

#4. Mon Petit Chou T-Shirt

How about expressing your love for you woman by giving her this lovely t-shirt which features a french term of endearment , Mon Petit Chou, or 'My Little Cabage'. This one will definitely get you laid... yep....

#3 Single Shot Garter

Here's a gift that has some honesty behind it. The garter says "Hey baby, I wanna see you in your underwear" and the flask says "But you're gonna need to be drunk for this to work."

#2 CockSox

Why not turn your woman on but offering yourself to her in true style and grace, the Cocksox says "Hey, I think you're so special, so I'm going choke my junk into unconsciousness by squeezing the life out of it with some recycled Madonna Underwear from the 1980's."

#1 The Snuggie Blanket

Blankets are OK but they can slip and slide, plus your hands are trapped inside. The Snuggie™ keeps you totally warm and gives you the freedom to use your hands. Work the remote, use your laptop or do some reading in total warmth and comfort! The sad part is that this product is actually real.... created for both the lazy and the incompetent the Snuggie is probably the most disturbing item out the market right now.